Holy crap am I outside?!?

So everyone knows that I don’t care for the outdoors (in fact I pretty much loathe being outside and especially I hate being dirty!) but I braved the wilderness this weekend and frankly did things I never thought I would or really want to do again!! Mostly it was having to use the bathroom outside that just had my skin crawling and believe me my body was not liking it!! It was saying “Melissa this isn’t right!!!” Word-it’s not right!!!! So it was me, my roommate Tamara, Jon, his brother Ammon, and a couple of other peeps. From the get go I was stressed!! I hadn’t been camping since I was like 16 and even then it was Girl’s Camp and that doesn’t really count seeing as how we had showers and running water. What exactly do you do when you’re camping?! Packing was quite the project for me and I prolly brought more stuff than I really needed to but everyone just had to deal with it! The 1st day the weather was actually really nice but the next day it was chilly and it rained pretty much all day!! Not fun but I soldiered on like how I do!! We woke up thinking it had to be around 8:00 or 9:00 so we got up and got ready to go fishing. Yeah too bad it was really only like 6:15!! I had never been fishing before and it showed! At 1st I couldn’t cast my line out to save my life and either Jon or Ammon kept having to get me situated. I got it together though so don’t you worry! Then we kept getting our line stuck on stuff and Ammon and Jon had to re-tie our line I don’t know how many times. Me & Tamara were getting a kick out of it but I sure don’t think the boys were!! I got my line really good and stuck and broke the pole (for the record Jon actually had the pole when it snapped but I still feel bad about it). I think I got a few bites but unfortunately didn’t catch anything but I’ve got my fishing license to put in my scrapbook so that’s what really matters!! After we got done fishing it was nap time and we took that very seriously!! Four hours later we get up and it’s totally raining and the tent is leaking! That’s great! We all gathered in our tent to play card games until it let up a little. Later on we did some shooting and unfortunately I have a mishap to report. I was shooting what me and Tamara call the old west sheriff’s gun and wasn’t paying attention to how I was holding it and had my hand up too high so when it went off it snapped my fingers and I think maybe burned off my fingerprints! It felt like I had slammed my fingers in the door a few times and it HURT let me tell you!! I was a little skiddish for a few minutes but got back in there when Jon got my Jack Bauer gun out-lock and load!! That night we decided we weren’t going to be able to sleep in our tent cuz it was just too wet so all 4 of us had to squeeze into the bed of Jon’s truck. Good grief!!! 4 people and all our sleeping bags! It was not comfortable and I pretty much didn’t sleep all night but it’s better than getting all wet and it makes for a good story!

Here’s me fishing. I’ve got kind of a weird look on my face here too. I think I was trying to figure out if I had caught something or if I’d gotten my line stuck again. I’m pretty sure it was just stuck!



Do we want to talk about my hair for a second!? It is lookin rough and it was lookin even worse by the end of the trip!!! Melissa in the wilderness is NOT attractive!!!



Me & Tamara all soggy and freezing our booties off!!



That’s what I’m talkin bout!!!



I love that Tamara has her eyes closed in this one!!! That gun throws ya back pretty good!!



And here's Jon toatin his gun!!



By the end of the trip I was completely filthy and quite disgusting!! I knew the wilderness had gotten to me when after packing things up my hands were covered in mud and yuck and I just said “screw it” and wiped them off all over my clothes!!

Project!!!!

So I’ve had my big girl bed for like 4 years now and straight up-it’s ugly!! I have been wanting to paint it since I got it but #1 you know I don’t like to get dirty and #2 you know I need some help & supervision!!! So I finally found someone foolish and/or bored enough to help me/do most of the work for me!!! I suckered my buddy Jon into helping (probably with promises if ice cream or free dinner-you know how boys are!!) So we started this project on Tuesday night and apparently I was hopped up on paint fumes before we even started and totally forgot to take a before picture. I’m so ashamed!!!! Now no one will appreciate how ugly my bed was before, but just trust me it was! Also I never noticed before that the posts on the foot board kind of look like bowling pins!!! Random!! So check it: I decided I was totally gonna get in there and get my hands dirty and that’s just what I did!! I even took the bed apart all by myself!!! After sanding the crap out of it (ok it really wasn’t that big of deal but it makes for a better story so go with me on it!) we started priming and soon realized that we didn’t buy enough primer. After going to 2 different stores to get everything we needed we got down to business. We worked till way past my bed time but got a lot done the 1st night. By the time I got home I was disgusting!!! For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to wear flip flops so my feet were covered in dust and paint and they were nast!! My hands were totally covered in paint and my clothes were ridiculous!!! I was gross!! So since my bed frame was getting worked on I just had my mattresses on the floor in my room and had to sleep on them like that. I don’t know why but it has really put me off. Weird right?! Last night I managed to pull it together and brought my camera. We finished priming the headboard and I wasn’t paying attention to the way my spray can was facing and sprayed my own self with primer!! Nice right!!! My hand was covered in it!!

So here’s a couple pics so far-mostly just to show everyone that I was actually working!!

This is the headboard after we finished priming it



Check me out sportin Jon’s greazy old sweatshirt. Now if that’s not hot I don’t know what is!!!



See how I was actually working and getting my hands dirty!?!?! Crazy talk!!!



And here’s Jon-probably re-painting something I messed up! He was a little put off with the picture taking but he wants to be on my blog so I don’t know why he’s frontin!!

Phone F-I-ASCO!!!!

Ok check it-I got a new phone the other day. I was very excited as I had had my current phone for 2 years and that’s ancient when we’re talking about electronics!!! I get the new phone and all is well and then the next day it just stops working! I couldn’t send or receive calls and txt messages. What the crap!? So I called tech support and they try resetting everything and it starts working again and then a few minutes later it’s not working anymore. Tech support can’t figure it out so they tell me to take it back to the store I got it from and have them swap it out for a new one. So I drive ALL the way across town and of course the store is closed! So I have no phone! No one can call me and I can’t call anyone else! So I head over to the other Verizon store and they’re still open (why both stores don’t have the same hours is beyond me!!). So this kid is trying to help me and he gets on with tech support and they do all the same resetting stuff and it comes back on and dials out and he thinks he’s fixed it. Ok kid I already said it’ll come back on and then go back down-what aren’t you getting about that?!!? Sure enough it craps out again. So he decides he’s just going to swap it out for a new one but of course he needs the box my other one came in and all that crap so I have to go ALL the way back to my house and ALL the way back to the store. He swaps out the phones and transfers all my #s and would you believe the new phone was doing the exact same thing!!! I could not believe!! So we’re on with tech support AGAIN and they are a bunch of retards!!! I thought this kid in the store was gonna reach thru the phone and strangle the tech support girl!!! if I hear you guys say “oh that’s weird” once more I swear!!! He says to me “I hope you didn’t have plans tonight.” To which I respond “well I wouldn’t know since I can’t use my damn phone!!” I was in that stupid store for an hour and a ½!!! Finally the phone starts working and we wait a bit to make sure it’s still working before I leave. We made several calls and such and everything appears to be ok so I head out. Just in case he tells me that if it craps out again I can call tech support and have them transfer me back to my old phone and use that for the night. So I head home and of course by the time I get home the phone stops working AGAIN!! So I grab my old phone and the new one and of course I now have to use someone else’s phone to call tech support AGAIN!! Of course Tamara’s not home and of course my BFF neighbors aren’t home so I knock on the next door neighbors door and ask to use their phone and the guy looks at me like I’m high AS I’M STANDING THERE HOLDING 2 PHONES IN MY HAND!!!! This guy has Verizon too so it was wanting his phone info and password and crap so that wasn’t working. Just then my BFF neighbors roll up so I go to their house and use their phone and I’m on the phone with Verizon for like a ½ hour!! They transfer me back to my other phone and the guy says that he’s putting all this in the notes on my account so when I go to the store they can situate me blah blah blah and I say to him “are you also putting in your notes that you’re giving me something free for all my troubles???” so he knocks some money off my bill and gives me a bunch of extra minutes and txts-all in all about $40 worth. Nice!!! So I was back to my old phone. So now I have to take my 2nd new phone back to the store today and get it situated. I just want my new phone!! Why must everything be so hard!?!?! Good grief!!

BJ's Bayou

Last Thursday me & my posse ventured to BJ’s Bayou to get our grub on!! BJ’s is a Cajun food place out in the middle of no where and allegedly the place is supposed to be haunted! Yikes!! It was built like 100 years ago and was originally a hotel so who knows what kind of crazy stuff was going on!! As soon as we drove up I was like “Yeah this place is creepy!!”

Tell me this place doesn't look haunted!! Ok from this picture it really doesn't but trust me in real life it's creepy!!




I was determined to be adventurous with my food selection and decided that I was going to order the weirdest thing on the menu! After some careful deliberation I went with the crawfish and alligator tails! Sounds delicious right?! While we were waiting for our food our waitress (who is also the owner) told us all the stories about all the ghosts that supposedly haunt the place. It was quite the array of ghosts!! In one particular corner upstairs there was a fire that broke out and killed 4 people who were staying at the hotel (when the place was a hotel). I was, of course, totally creeped out as I am afraid of everything!!! After she finished her little tale me, Kaydi, and Lisa ventured upstairs to look around. I wandered over to the corner where the fire had been and as soon as I got over there I could feel that something wasn’t right!! Then I got really cold and my teeth started chattering! Could it have been that she had gotten us all worked up with her ghosts stories and I was just scaring myself? Quite possibly but I was taking no chances and decided I was going back downstairs! What a whimp!!!

Here’s me eating my alligator tails!!! Delicious!!!!!




And here’s the whole posse!! We are good times!!

Your favorite topic....ME!!!!

Most people know that my 2 great loves are my TV shows and anything having to do with Hollywood (i.e. movies, my Hollywood Husbands, and most importantly the Oscars!!!!) Right now I’m really into Prison Break. Mmmmm Wentworth Miller……..



Me and my roommate Tamara just watched the first 2 seasons and I’m not ashamed to tell you that we got them watched in a week and a ½!!! We were watching it around the clock! Unfortunately for us season 3 isn’t out on the DVD yet so we have no other choice but to hunker down in front of Tamara’s computer and watch it online. Hey ya do what ya gotta do right?! It’s about to be Season Finale time which normally is among the most exciting times of the year for me (after Oscar night, my birthday, and Season Premiere week!!) however the recent Writer’s Strike really took its toll on me and I haven’t been the same since! I’ve dropped several of my shows. Can you believe?!?!

On to Hollywood!!!! You may or may not know that my one true Hollywood love is Val Kilmer and has been since I can remember! Yes I realize that he’s getting a little chubby lately and that he hasn’t made a decent movie in who knows how long but I love him and true love lasts a lifetime!!!



Some things to know about me:

My favorite band is Lifehouse and if you didn’t already know this you must be joking!! I love Lifehouse with all my heart and soul!! Lifehouse is the soundtrack of my life!!! I can pretty much put a Lifehouse song to every person and situation in my life!



This one time me and my sister Kristy went to a Lifehouse concert in Sacramento and even we were in the front row!!!! We had a fabulous picture taken right in front of the stage but SOMEONE (John Turner) lost it!! not to worry cuz this other time I was at a Lifehouse concert I was like 5 feet from Jason Wade!! I could almost reach out and touch him!!

ahhh this guy...





My biggest dream in life is to dance with John Travolta!!! It's been my dream since before I can remember. I need everyone to start writing letters to Oprah since he is her best white friend!!!


I have a flobbity jillion siblings!!! I am the 2nd oldest of 11 children and it is madness I tell you MADNESS!!! I have more hilarious stories about my family than anyone you’ll ever meet!!! One of my faves right now is the time when my youngest brother Andrew (who had been watching a little too much of that show Man vs Wild) decided he was just too hot and too dehydrated to make it home so (as seen on TV) he busted out his survival skillz and took off his t-shirt, peed on it and wrapped it around his head so that he wouldn’t overheat on the long trek back to the house-which was all of 10 feet away!!! oh those children!!!



I LOVE CAKE!!! I will do anything for a good piece of cake!!! And don’t ask me why but I prefer my cake to be chilled. Weird right?! A couple of years ago I discovered Sprinkles Cupcakes with my friend Johnny and my life has never been the same!!! Sprinkles Cupcakes are just about the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten. So check it: me and Johnny are in LA-apparently we were too busy with all the magic of Disneyland to eat breakfast or lunch that day so Sprinkles was our 1st meal of the day. We waited in line for like 2 hours for these cupcakes-we’re tired and wretched hungry. We get back in the car and open our little boxes and start eating our 1st cupcake (mine was red velvet which is now my all time favorite kind to get!). There was dead silence in the car! Those cupcakes are so unbelievably fantastic there were just no words!!! I’ve been in love with Sprinkles Cupcakes ever since!!!



Ok that’s enough about me for now!! Enjoy!!

Lock and Load!!

My buddy Jon took me and my roommate Tamara shooting a few weeks ago. Neither of us had ever even touched a gun before so it was quite the little outing!!

As you can see by the kind of freaked out look on my face I was a little nervous at first. If anyone was gonna shoot their own self you know it would be me!! While that would be a great story to tell, I really don't have time for such nonsense!!! By the end I was workin it Jack Bauer style!!!


I'm happy to report that there were no mishaps but me & Tamara were a little trigger happy and we kept hearing Jon say "and take your finger off the trigger....and take your finger off the trigger....and we don't point the guns at eachother...and take your finger off the trigger...." good times!!!!



You wouldn't want to meet me in a dark alley mmmkkkaayy!!

The latest!!!

So April was quite a busy month for your's truly. I became a 1st time Aunt!! My sister Kristy had little baby Owen the beggining of April and he is so darling!!! I feel all growed up now!!






My best friend Jenny got married last weekend and I once again got the pleasure of being a wedding planner. Between the wind almost blowing my dress up, my mom not having all the reception food ready, and my brother Joseph taking off with Jenny's wedding dress in his car it was QUITE the day let me tell you!!

Just what you've all been waiting for!!!!

Hey friends!!! Most of you know by now that I have a plethora of ridiculous stories (or musings if you will!!!). Some sort of nonsense is always occuring in my life so I decided it was time to join the fun of blogging. Now everyone, everywhere can hear my tales of woe and nonsense!!! Hunker down everyone!!!!