Seriously?!?!

Ok just a quick little vent: why is there a chick hanging out in my area wearing slippers instead of regular shoes?!?! This IS an office isn't it!? Not her living room!??! Casual dress does NOT mean your pajamas people! Have some sense!! If I can manage to get all THIS (finger pointing at my fabulous self!) ready and looking good everyday the least you can do is throw on some regular shoes and not your house slippers and bathrobe!!! Gosh!!!

Wentworth!!

Here's a pic of Wentworth my little gay tree!! You prolly can't tell from the picture but he's totally leaning! oh that Wentworth!! It took me like a week to get some decorations on him-he just stood there naked!!! I don't care I love him!!!!

Story Time!!!

Ok I’ve got a lot to catch up on people so hunker yourselves down for story time!!! Let’s start with some Christmas items!!! I started my annual candy making project yesterday and things are in full swing!! I’m in a bit of a time crunch here so I’ve had to use my time wisely! You see when you’re popular like me and have events every night it’s hard to find the time to get candy making done so you’re forced to squeeze it in wherever you can!

Here's all my candy making provisions-I've got a lot to do!!!



Yesterday during lunch I was a multi-tasking fool!! With one hand I was stirring a pot of melting chocolate and with the other I stirred my lunch! Then after my lunch was done cooking I began pouring my chocolate out onto the pan while sneaking bites of my lunch in where I could-don’t worry that at one point I had a mouthful of piping hot noodles but I soldiered on!! I managed to get 2 of my candies made, my lunch eaten, my mouth burned, and the kitchen mostly cleaned up! Go me!!! After work I began working on some of my other candies until Jon came over to help me make caramels!! This was my 1st attempt at making caramels and it showed!! Jon read off the directions for me and I put everything in the pot. Side note: Jon Judy is a caramel making expert and I don’t know why but it is so random that he makes them!!

Ok back to me!! I get everything in the pot, turn on the heat, and hunker down for the alleged 2 hours that it takes to make these caramels. Jon stayed in the kitchen for the 1st few minutes and chatted with me while I stirred but quickly got bored of that and plopped down in the living room to watch a movie. About 20 minutes later I look down at my pot of boiling caramel and it’s awfully dark for how long it had been cooking. It’s burning!!! Jon comes in to take a look and sure enough I had somehow managed to cook the 2 hour caramels in 20 minutes! They were gross!!! Well crap Jon-why weren’t you supervising me better!?!? So we pour that batch out and scrape the remnants out of the pot (and by WE I mean Jon!!)!

Me during round 1-Look how i'm so excited to be making caramels like I know what I'm doing and I'm not about to ruin them!!! Side note: Jon refused to have his picture taken to document this little project! I don't know why he has to act like that!! Gosh!!!



So Jon decides that maybe my stove is just hotter than his so it cooked faster blah blah blah so we decide to go down to his house and use his stove. After making fun of me for a few minutes (and rightfully so!!) we got back down to business and Jon paid a little bit more attention to what I was doing! I was a bit nervous as I poured everything in the pot and began stirring! Jon would never shut it if I ruined a 2nd batch!!! Things went better this time around so don't you fret!!! My caramels turned out smashingly!! I can’t wait to hand them out!!! Thanks Jon Judy!!!

I Love My Big Gay Tree!!!!

Ok so check it! I got my Christmas tree last night!!!!Fa la la la la!!!! So last year getting my tree was QUITE a fiasco!! It took me forever to pick him out and forever to get him situated in his little tree stand (mostly cuz I don’t own any tools so we were hacking at his stump with a steak knife or the claw end of a hammer or some such nonsense!!!) and then when I finally did get him situated he seemed to be leaning an awfully lot! No matter what we did he was always leaning and then I discovered that his trunk wasn’t quite straight-he’s gay!!!! I named him Sebastian and I loved my big gay tree!! So last night I went to the tree lot and scoped out the trees. The 1st one I saw was just too big and then I saw the perfect tree! He was just the right size and appeared to be standing straight!! Wrap him up I’ll take him to go!!!!! so we get him home and in his little tree stand with minimal fuss and I think he’s perfect and everything is going well! Yeah too bad he also leans a little and doesn’t stand up straight! Another gay tree!!!! Oh good grief!! But he only leans just slightly as if he just hasn’t quite decided if he’s gay or not!!! What can ya do?!? I love my little gay tree!!! I’m gonna name him Wentworth!!!! Pics will be posted as soon as I get him all gussied up!!! Merry Christmas!!!!

Get Your Gratefulness On!!

Man I’m excited for Turkey Day this year!!!!! I am ready to eat my weight in stuffing and mashed potatoes and pie!!! We get to eat pie for breakfast!!!! I can’t wait!!!! I thought I would take a few moments and reflect on a few things I’m thankful for right now (in no particular order & FYI some of these might be quite cheezy which I know is so unlike me!!! Deal with it!!):

#1 I’m thankful for my roommate!!!! Currently my sister Jamie (Strudel) resides with me and for the 1st time EVER in my life (besides when I was living by myself) I’m not having to deal with an ounce of roommate drama!!! It is so great!!! At 1st I wasn’t sure if me & Strudel would survive as roommates but seriously it’s been great and I’m glad we’ve had this time together. So tender right?!?!



#2 I’m thankful for Johnny my Precious!! No joke- it has been a hard time lately for yours truly and Johnny has had to listen to me out right bawling my eyes out more than I’m sure he’d care to but he’s been really good to me even tho I’m sure he wants to pull his hair out!!!! We’re coming up on 9 years of Precious good times!!! So much tenderness!!!



#3 I’m thankful that Lifehouse is back in the studio recording a new album!!! They really are the soundtrack of my life and I need some new anthems!!!



#4 I’m thankful to be reunited with Marissa!!! She’s one of the few people in this world who truly gets me! Reunited and it feels so good!!!!! I am so looking forward to our visit in a couple weeks!!!!



#5 I’m thankful for the unusually warm weather we’ve been having lately. Sure 40 or 50 degrees doesn’t sound that warm to anyone not living in Idaho but it’s amazing for us! It’s getting a little chillier but still NO SNOW!!! Consequently I am thankful that I haven’t had to turn the heat on in my apartment yet!!!

#6 I’m thankful to still be employed!! In case you didn’t know I work in the Mortgage Industry and unless you live under a rock you know it’s not really the market to be working in right now. But I’m still gainfully employed and even better I still have an assistant!!! Who else is gonna get all my work done!?!?

#7 I am thankful for my DVR!!! I went 12 days with no DVR and honestly it wasn’t that bad but I am grateful to have it back! In general I’m thankful for the person who invented the DVR-there’s a special place reserved in heaven for that person I’m sure of it!!

#8 I’m thankful that gas has gone down so much lately!!! There’s a gas station that I pass every day on my way to work and every time I see the price drop lower it just fills me with warm fuzzies!! If only I could find a way to add that to my food storage!!!

#9 I’m thankful that it’s Oscar season!!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year!! There’s gonna be some good movies coming out here in the next little while all leading up to the most important night of the year-Oscar Night!!!! I love it!!!



#10 I’m thankful that my man Tony Almeida will be back on 24 this season!! Now while I do think it’s lame that they killed him off and then brought him back his absence has left a whole in my heart that can not be filled!!! Altho from looking at the previews it looks like he’s a bad guy (can you blame him!!?) and you know what happens to all the bad guys in 24!! Jack Bauer snaps their necks with his legs!! I survived Tony dying once-I don’t think I can do it again! But I will get to wear my I Heart Tony t-shirt again when I watch!!!



So there you go-the top 10 things I’m thankful for right now!!!

Melissa Hively Has Voted!!!!

So I pulled the lever for Democracy today!!! Me & Strudel went downtown during lunch to do our civic duty!! Couple of things about my voting experience today:

#1 Our designated voting place was the Courthouse Rotunda. ohhhh La-ti-dah the Rotunda!! by the sounds of that I was expecting to go down there and have finger sandwiches and other such refreshments waiting for me like we were going to a garden party. Yeah right!! Turns out the Rotunda is the lobby of the courthouse and they just crammed us all in there and it smelled like crime!!!

#2 Is anyone else concerned that old folks are running these voting booths?!!? Those crazy oldies couldn't get our names right prolly cuz they didn't have their hearing aides turned up!! And we're trusting them to handle and tally up our votes?!?! I'm scared.

#3 They make you listen to and watch this little tutorial on how to punch your voting card!! People is it really that difficult!??! If you can't figure that out on your own then I don't want you voting!!! And after you hand in your ballot they announce your name & that you have voted! It's kind of exciting!!!

#4 Before we went to perform our civic duty I played Sister Suffragette from Mary Poppins for us as I thought it an appropriate anthem for the afternoon's events!!!

Cast off the shackles of yesterday!
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray!
Our daughters' daughters will adore us
And they'll sing in grateful chorus
"Well done, Sister Suffragette!"

And of course I took a picture of us!!!



Sister Suffragettes indeed!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!!!!!

Happy Halloween everybody!!!!! Everyone at my office is all dressed up and we've pretty much done no work all day!! It's been so great!!! Here's a pic of me in my fabulous costume!!! I was born in the wrong time period-I totally should have been born in the 1920's!!! Look how well I pull this look off!!!!



And this chick Rachelle dressed up as Flavor Flav!!! It was crapping hilarious!!!! She has been in character all day!!!!



Seriously tho this wig is startin to hurt my head!!! Good thing It's time to go home for the day so I can get out of this get up!!!! I'll be posting more pics later on!!!

Update On That Update!!

So remember that one time I said i was all better from my throat nonsense? Yeah not so much!!!! I had to go back to the doctor the other day cuz apparently I'm not all better. I have to do another round of antibiotics but thankfully it's a different kind cuz my tummy can't handle those other ones anymore!! So after I finish this round of meds if it's still not all the way gone then I'm gonna have to go see and Ear, Nose & Throat specialist and they're prolly gonna want to take my tonsils out!! People I can not deal with that!!!! All I can think of is how horrible it was when i had to get my wisdom teeth out and how the anesthesia made me so sick after words and I was puking everywhere but since my mouth was swollen it made having to puke all that much more awful!!! I really don't wanna have to do that again!! Everyone better start praying and (as Jon says) do a little jig for me in hopes that it doesn't come to that!!! It sure is hard being me!!!

Since I'm Sure You're Dying For An Update!!!

Just in case you wanted to know I'm all better from my nonsense of last week!!! I just took my last antibiotic, the bruise from my IV is just about gone, and I've had no further reactions from the Iodine they pumped in me!!! Thank goodness!!! Those pills I was on were not good to me!!! I've pretty much had an upset stomach for the last week and a 1/2 and having to lay on my stomach a bunch in my Yoga class was not helping!!! But i'm all better now and so help me if I have to deal with another throat related issue I'm yanking those tonsils right out!!!!

Just Another Manic Monday!!!!

This one time (yesterday) I woke up with what I thought was the strep AGAIN!!! already I’m agitated cuz I can not deal with that crap again!!! Not to mention that the last time I had it they had talked about maybe needing to get my tonsils taken out if I keep getting it like that. Ummm no thanks I’m good! I try looking at my throat in the mirror with a flashlight but it’s so swollen I can barely open my mouth and every time I swallowed I wanted to die!! On top of that I was having some difficulty breathing. Just walking across the room totally made me winded-please I’m not that out of shape!!! So I soldiered on and went to work and everyone could tell I was not feeling well. Steer clear folks!!! So at 11:00 I went over to my doctor’s office to get checked out thinking they’d shove some antibiotics down my throat and send me on my way. WRONG!!! the Physician’s assistant checks me out and has the nurse do a swab for strep-which I had never had before cuz it’s always been so bad they could just look at me and know I had the strep. I could do without having another one of those throat swabs!! Totally almost hurled!! So that comes back negative. The PA has the doctor come in and look at me and he decides that prolly I have an infection or something in my tonsils and that I need to go get a CT scan to check things out. And then I hear some nonsensical talk about maybe having to put a needle in my throat to drain out the infection. Ummmmm yeah that can NOT happen!! so they send me on my way to go get a CT scan. I get over to the place and have to put these wretched scrubs on-I was lookin hot I’m sure!! they get everything situated-which took forever-and get me in the CT machine, start my IV, and tell me what’s gonna be going down. they have to inject you with Iodine for the scan and the nurse said it feels really warm going in blah blah blah but that’s normal. She said if I start feeling sick or itchy or can’t breathe or anything to let them know right away cuz that means I’m prolly allergic to the iodine. Yeah turns out I am!!! They inject it all in me and as soon as she finished I could not breathe!!! Panic!!!! They pull me out of the machine and sit me up and the doctor runs over and they give me something to counteract that and then I thought I was going to hurl!!! And even better I broke out in some hives on my face and neck-now if that’s not hot I don’t know what is!!!! I’m of course panicking cuz I can’t breath and think I’m going to hurl which I’m sure would have felt great with my sore throat!! And then at 1st they said they didn’t get the scan done in time before I wigged out so then I felt bad for some reason and kept apologizing-like it’s my fault!! Please!!! after they get me situated I start getting really tired from the meds they gave me-great!! so they made me lay in there for a bit and then said they needed to keep me there for another hour so they could watch me. so they move me to another room and just laid there kinda dozing in and out. I had to call Jenny to come pick me up cuz they wouldn’t let me drive. Good grief!! so after that I had to head back over to the doc’s office to figure out what they wanna do with me. at this point I’m thinking “there better be something really wrong with me after all this!!!” they decided to leave my IV port in just in case the doc wanted to give my IV antibiotics so there I am wandering around town with an IV shoved in my arm!!! I get back over to the doc’s office and the PA has yet ANOTHER doc come in and look at my throat but since it’s so swollen and hurts like nobody’s business he decides that we should numb the back of my throat so he can look at it better without me wanting to junk punch him!! so they lay me down and spray this stuff in the back of my throat and it was DISGUSTING!!!! I shot straight up and again almost blew chunks!! So nast!! He looks at my throat again and then it turns out that they were able to get my scan done before I wigged out so in the end I had an abscess on my tonsil which had caused this big infection and that left un treated would either cause my throat to close up (which it was on its way to doing anyway) or could even travel up into my brain. Good grief!!! so they give me these massive antibiotic pills to take and a steroid shot-right above my butt nevermind and it hurts like nobody’s business and still does! Oh and right before I left I’m all “oh did you guys wanna take out this IV I’ve been carrying around!?!” don’t worry that it’s totally bruised now. I finally got to go home close to 5:00-I was spent!! What a day right?!?!

So there’s my story!!!!! How were all of your days!?!?!?

Worst Date Ever!!!

This is in response to the "Question of The Day" on my sister Kristy's blog:

This wasn't so much a bad date because of something my date did, but becuase i'm a raging idiot!!!! here you go: this one time when I was at the college we had this group date going and the guy that was my date didn’t have a car (that’s kinda loserish but most people at the college didn’t have cars) so I went to go pick him up and the street where his apartment building was wasn’t lit like at all and it’s night so it’s totally dark. I had never been over there before either. So I can see that there’s a set of stairs you have to go down and then walk up to the building. Well I couldn’t see how many steps there were or how far apart they were or anything-all I could see was where they started and where they stopped so what did I do? I decided that the smartest thing to do was to just take a big flying leap over the stairs and avoid them all together!! Genius right!?! So that’s just what I did!!! Kinda got a sort of running start and took a flying leap over the stairs!!! Totally cleared the stairs (go me!!!) but when I landed my ankle totally snapped!! I heard this awful crunching sound and it hurt let me tell you!! I was like “oh sh!t!!!!” 1st I tried just walking it off but that wasn’t happening and I didn’t want to have to tell him that I needed to cancel cuz I was retarded!! So I sucked it up and soldiered on with the date. I walked up 3 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS to his apartment and then back down and then had to drive. We went bowling and it took me forever to get up and bowl and somehow by the end of the night he found out that I had hurt my ankle so I had to tell him what happened. It was a long night and totally embarrassing!!!! And i was on crutches for like the next week!! Lovely!!

Feel free to share your bad date stories!!!!

But I Loved Him!!!!

Can we just observe a moment of silence for the passing of one of my Hollywood Husbands? Of course I’m devastated!!! I love Paul Newman!!!! If you’ve never seen Cat On A Hot Tin Roof you MUST go out right now and rent it!!! You will not be disappointed!! Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor-does it get much better than that?!?! I think I might have myself a Paul Newman marathon this weekend-that’ll make it all better!!!

I Went To Lose a Jolly Hour On The Trolley!!!

Clank, clank, clank went the trolley!!! You better believe i was singing the trolley song from Meet Me In St. Louis as we rode the trolley car through the streets of San Fran!!! It was very exciting!!!! After standing in line an exceptionally long time we boarded the trolley and it was so full that Loren had to hang onto the pole on the side of the car-it was great!! Maybe not for him but me & Johnny got a kick out of watching him have to dodge any cars on the roadside and having his personal space seriously invaded by the guy next to him!!! We rode the trolley to the end of the track at Union Square where we went to this ENORMOUS mall!! Loren was in heaven!! We trolled around the shopping district for a bit and #1 my hair was a wreck!! I had to go and purchase something to pull it back with! Good grief!! #2 it was getting chilly outside so thank heavens for Old Navy I was able to pop in the 3 floored store there and purchase a little sweatshirt! so that's the reason for the wardrobe change folks!! After we ate dinner we again boarded the trolley and headed to Ghirardelli Square!!! Magical!!! We came upon this little cupcake store that had the appearance of our beloved Sprinkles Cupcake store so we just had to check it out!! It was NOT Sprinkles mmmkkkaaayyy!!! And the chick working there seemed quite offended when Loren mentioned Sprinkles to her!! so touchy!!! They were good cupcakes and would get you by if you needed a cupcake fix but they are not Sprinkles by any stretch!! Then we headed over to get ice cream!!! delicious!! Me & Loren both wisely chose The Gold Rush which is ice cream, peanut butter, and Ghirardelli chocolate!!! I am really on this peanut butter kick lately and it was fantastic!! Johnny on the other hand was not so smart in his dessert selection and got this milkshake that seemed more like a glass of melted ice cream!! We didn't even bother taking a picture of it!! Too bad Precious!!

While in San Fran we also went to Fisherman's Wharf and I got to gaze out at the ocean!!! I heart the ocean!!! Oh we also ate fish 'n chips at one of those little roadside seafood places and it was delicious!! We hoovered that food in let me tell you!!! By the time we got home we were exhausted and I was sunburned but man it was a great day!!!

Alcatraz!!!

So I just got back from visiting Johnny (my Precious) in sunny California!!!! We're gonna need to do this in chapters or everyone will just be overloaded with all my pics and stories!!! We'll start with Alcatraz!!! I have been wanting to go there for like forever and was more excited for this than pretty much anything else on my trip!!! Me, Johnny, and Loren took a little road trip to San Francisco and it was very exciting!! We took the ferry out to the island which was way fun!! We took the "Audio Tour" of the island where they just give you a headset and send you on your way-genius!!! No listening to a stupid tour guide trying to be funny or stupid tourists asking asinine questions!! It was a very interesting place. I think the thing I was most surprised by was when they talked about how some of the guards had their families living on the island with them-WITH THE PRISON RIGHT THERE!!! That's insane!!! There were quite a few areas that were closed off cuz the place is old and falling apart and that made it all the more creepy!! For some reason I had a morbid curiosity with the Morgue-which we were not allowed to go in but we could look through the window so that would have to do!!! We got to get inside a few of the cells and I'm not gonna front it was a little creepy!!! I was having visions of that movie The Rock where the tour comes through and they get inside the cells and then Ed Harris pops out and locks them all in and holds them hostage!! Now while I would love for Ed Harris to pop out as he is one of my Hollywood Husbands-I just don't have time for such shenanigans!!! Don't fret tho-Ed Harris was no where in sight!!!! we spent a good couple hours on the island and it was all very exciting!!! Anywho-enjoy the pics and hunker down cuz there's more to come!!!

Road Trip!!!!

Me, Strudel, and Jenny took a little trip down to Utah over the weekend. It was good times!! We arrived at Kristy & Todd’s on Friday evening and stayed with them until Sunday. This would be Jenny’s 1st weekend away from Boyfriend since being married & she was trippin a little bit!! Married people are so weird!!! Why do they fall apart if they’re away from each other for more than a day!?? You lived your entire life without that person but 1 weekend away is about to do you in?!! Get serious people!! Ok back to the weekend….Saturday we had an unsuccessful shopping outing with Kristy. We all barely bought anything!! Weird how we all had money to spend and seemed to not be in the mood to spend it!! I don’t understand what’s going on here!!! Saturday night me & Jenny ventured up to Salt Lake to play with my BFF Jared & his wife & kids-who are so stinkin cute!!!

New Baby Alex-who has the greatest head of hair you’ve ever seen!!!



Me & Kameron!! That kid has the most fantastic little personality and totally makes me wanna have kids and that’s sayin something since everyone knows I don’t generally care for kids!!! All night long he kept calling me & Jenny “the ladies”!!! I love it!!!



Whenever we get together with them we tell all the same stories and they’re just as funny as when they happened in real life!!! Me & Jared were just kids when we met and now we’re getting so old!! Ok we were like 20 or 21 when we met but come on!!! I freaking love those guys!!!




And we got to spend some quality time with OP!!! ok really I think we saw him a total of like 2 hours the whole weekend cuz he was ALWAYS sleeping!!! Who knew being a baby was so exhausting!! But man he’s so sitnkin cute!!!

I heart the Olympics!!!!!

I would just like to take a moment to say how much I HEART the Olympics!!!! I have been waiting all year for them to start!! I am really into the swimming right now and just about wet my pants when the US won the men’s relay race on Sunday night!!! It was so awesome!!!! Those Frenchies were talking a bunch of smack and thought they totally had that one in the bag!!! Stupid Frenchies!!!! That was one of those leaping off the couch, screaming at your TV moments!!! Man it was fantastic!!!!



And even though my boyfriend Ian Thorpe decided to retire (rude!!!!)



Man that Michael Phelps makes it all better!!!



My sister Jamie is trying to say she’s boycotting these Olympics (too bad she’s glued to the TV every night!!!) don’t fret she’s not going to kill my Olympic spirit-I heart the games too much!!!!

Memories...light the corners of my mind!!!

This is fun!!!!

Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Happy 4th!!!

Obviously we just celebrated the 4th of July. I just read my sister Kristy’s blog on her 4th of July festivities-so funny that I had just been telling that same story of the parades my Grandmother used to make us have when we were little. Oh that Betty Hively!!! We had this big-to-do carnival type thing going on with face painting and games and all kinds of stuff! And that parade!! Good grief!!! Grandmother has us marching around that yard till we couldn’t stand it anymore! I don’t know how she did it but she had so much energy and would just keep going and going till she wore us out!!! I’m so glad we have that on video!!! Man I miss that crazy old lady-more than I ever thought I would!!! Ok let’s move on before I have a breakdown…

Onto my 4th of July festivities! So check it-my day started early when me & Jenny decided to walk from my house over to Smitty’s for breakfast. mmm Smitty’s!!! I think we were trying to convince ourselves that we were getting some exercise in since we walked over there but we stuffed our fat faces with food that we know isn’t good for us so that pretty much canceled our walking out! But we did walk back to my house so that’s gotta count for something right?! So I live by the river right? Well they a bunch of food booths and such by the river every year and last year I discovered that there was a funnel cake booth!!! Score!!! So naturally I am really looking forward to that this year. I can’t celebrate my independence without stuffing my fat face full of funnel cake!!! And that’s just what I did!!! Me & Jenny walked over to the river and found that booth!! I had mine drizzled in chocolate fudge sauce and heavy whipped cream-I’m not talking cool whip crap either!! It was scrumptious!!! That was pretty much the highlight of my day!!! As mentioned before I live right by the river and since that’s where they set off the fireworks you better believe it was nuts in my neighborhood! It took us like a ½ to find a way out of there!! me, Jenny & boyfriend & Strudel (my sister Jamie) decided to walk over to the river to watch the fireworks and it was madness down there!!! it was a good show this year tho!! Here’s a couple pics I took with the camera on my phone. They’re not too bad….







I had Boyfriend take one of the three of us which dind't turn out that great but still it's cute!




So after the fireworks we walked back to my house which was no small task!!! I got man handled a few times while trying to fight my way thru the crowd!!! A few minutes after we got back to my house Judy my landlady came around and told all of us that the cops said we needed to stay in our apartments until they said we could come out. She didn’t know why but that’s what she was told. Judy stop trying to boss me-I’ll do what I want!!! Turns out some fool the next block up at a pipe bomb and the cops were all a buzz over it! How exciting!!!

Hope everyone had a fabulous 4th!!! Where else can you celebrate your independence by stuffing your fat face and blowing stuff up!!?! God bless America!!!

Crazy Psycho Duck!!!

Here’s one: me & Jenny were walking around the river this morning (at 5 AM-Gosh!!!) and as soon as we got on the greenbelt this white duck started following us and was squawking up a storm!!! We’re thinking this stupid duck is totally gonna try and peck at us (wait do ducks peck!?!) or try and eat us or something and frankly I just don’t have the time or desire to deal with that at 5 in the morning!! We keep walking and that stupid duck just kept following us and squawking like nobody’s business! Jenny’s starts panicking a little and starts to run and of course the duck starts running faster after her! I tell her to simmer down or he’s really gonna try & get us so she stops running but we’re both walking pretty fast. And since she’s Jenny and only she would think of this she decides the duck is trying to tell us something and we should listen to it!! Girl it’s not Lassie for crap’s sake!!!! After another couple minutes of this we both start panicking and take off running and sure enough that damn duck tore right after us and chased us ½ way around the river!! He would not leave us alone!! Thankfully when we got to the little stretch of the greenbelt that’s on Broadway I think he got distracted either by all the cars zooming by or the other people that were walking the river cuz he slowed down and eventually gave up his chase!!! Good freakin grief!!!!

The Dirt Bike

I know it's been awhile since I posted a story but this one is worth the wait! The only thing that could make it better would be if I had a picture to go with it!! so check it: We went out to the parents for Father’s Day festivities yesterday and my brother Matthew borrowed his buddy’s dirt bike & brought it over. So everyone was taking a turn riding on it. I’ve never ridden a dirt bike before and have been wanting to try it out. Of course I’m too scared right!? I finally work up some gumption and decide that I am going to do it!! But 1st Jenny decides she wants to just see if she can get the thing started but she doesn’t want to ride on it. So we’re all kinda gathered around watching to see if she’s smarter than the dirt bike! Clearly that was a mistake!! She manages to get the thing started and then doesn’t really know what to do with it so in true Jenny fashion she just lets go of it and it’s heading RIGHT for me! I had no where to go-I was trapped between the outside set of stairs and the picnic table so that bike totally hit me!!!! Knocked me down on the stairs and ran over me!! I am so sure!!! I’m all banged up now!!! So of course now I’m too scared to try riding it myself!! After a few minutes of the children trying to give me a pep talk I decide to give it a try! I managed to get it started on the 1st try but couldn’t quite get the hang of keeping the gas going so it took me a few more starts before I was ready to go. My biggest fear was of course that I would tip over and after already having the weight of the bike on me I really didn’t want to have to deal with that again!! So I get going but at 1st felt like I was going too fast but couldn’t seem to get my hand on the brakes and I was too worried about tipping over that I couldn’t get my balance enough to pull my feet up so they’re just dragging in the dirt!! I made it like ½ way around the yard and felt I was done!! A pathetic 1st attempt but hey at least I tried it!!!!!

Holy crap am I outside?!?

So everyone knows that I don’t care for the outdoors (in fact I pretty much loathe being outside and especially I hate being dirty!) but I braved the wilderness this weekend and frankly did things I never thought I would or really want to do again!! Mostly it was having to use the bathroom outside that just had my skin crawling and believe me my body was not liking it!! It was saying “Melissa this isn’t right!!!” Word-it’s not right!!!! So it was me, my roommate Tamara, Jon, his brother Ammon, and a couple of other peeps. From the get go I was stressed!! I hadn’t been camping since I was like 16 and even then it was Girl’s Camp and that doesn’t really count seeing as how we had showers and running water. What exactly do you do when you’re camping?! Packing was quite the project for me and I prolly brought more stuff than I really needed to but everyone just had to deal with it! The 1st day the weather was actually really nice but the next day it was chilly and it rained pretty much all day!! Not fun but I soldiered on like how I do!! We woke up thinking it had to be around 8:00 or 9:00 so we got up and got ready to go fishing. Yeah too bad it was really only like 6:15!! I had never been fishing before and it showed! At 1st I couldn’t cast my line out to save my life and either Jon or Ammon kept having to get me situated. I got it together though so don’t you worry! Then we kept getting our line stuck on stuff and Ammon and Jon had to re-tie our line I don’t know how many times. Me & Tamara were getting a kick out of it but I sure don’t think the boys were!! I got my line really good and stuck and broke the pole (for the record Jon actually had the pole when it snapped but I still feel bad about it). I think I got a few bites but unfortunately didn’t catch anything but I’ve got my fishing license to put in my scrapbook so that’s what really matters!! After we got done fishing it was nap time and we took that very seriously!! Four hours later we get up and it’s totally raining and the tent is leaking! That’s great! We all gathered in our tent to play card games until it let up a little. Later on we did some shooting and unfortunately I have a mishap to report. I was shooting what me and Tamara call the old west sheriff’s gun and wasn’t paying attention to how I was holding it and had my hand up too high so when it went off it snapped my fingers and I think maybe burned off my fingerprints! It felt like I had slammed my fingers in the door a few times and it HURT let me tell you!! I was a little skiddish for a few minutes but got back in there when Jon got my Jack Bauer gun out-lock and load!! That night we decided we weren’t going to be able to sleep in our tent cuz it was just too wet so all 4 of us had to squeeze into the bed of Jon’s truck. Good grief!!! 4 people and all our sleeping bags! It was not comfortable and I pretty much didn’t sleep all night but it’s better than getting all wet and it makes for a good story!

Here’s me fishing. I’ve got kind of a weird look on my face here too. I think I was trying to figure out if I had caught something or if I’d gotten my line stuck again. I’m pretty sure it was just stuck!



Do we want to talk about my hair for a second!? It is lookin rough and it was lookin even worse by the end of the trip!!! Melissa in the wilderness is NOT attractive!!!



Me & Tamara all soggy and freezing our booties off!!



That’s what I’m talkin bout!!!



I love that Tamara has her eyes closed in this one!!! That gun throws ya back pretty good!!



And here's Jon toatin his gun!!



By the end of the trip I was completely filthy and quite disgusting!! I knew the wilderness had gotten to me when after packing things up my hands were covered in mud and yuck and I just said “screw it” and wiped them off all over my clothes!!

Project!!!!

So I’ve had my big girl bed for like 4 years now and straight up-it’s ugly!! I have been wanting to paint it since I got it but #1 you know I don’t like to get dirty and #2 you know I need some help & supervision!!! So I finally found someone foolish and/or bored enough to help me/do most of the work for me!!! I suckered my buddy Jon into helping (probably with promises if ice cream or free dinner-you know how boys are!!) So we started this project on Tuesday night and apparently I was hopped up on paint fumes before we even started and totally forgot to take a before picture. I’m so ashamed!!!! Now no one will appreciate how ugly my bed was before, but just trust me it was! Also I never noticed before that the posts on the foot board kind of look like bowling pins!!! Random!! So check it: I decided I was totally gonna get in there and get my hands dirty and that’s just what I did!! I even took the bed apart all by myself!!! After sanding the crap out of it (ok it really wasn’t that big of deal but it makes for a better story so go with me on it!) we started priming and soon realized that we didn’t buy enough primer. After going to 2 different stores to get everything we needed we got down to business. We worked till way past my bed time but got a lot done the 1st night. By the time I got home I was disgusting!!! For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to wear flip flops so my feet were covered in dust and paint and they were nast!! My hands were totally covered in paint and my clothes were ridiculous!!! I was gross!! So since my bed frame was getting worked on I just had my mattresses on the floor in my room and had to sleep on them like that. I don’t know why but it has really put me off. Weird right?! Last night I managed to pull it together and brought my camera. We finished priming the headboard and I wasn’t paying attention to the way my spray can was facing and sprayed my own self with primer!! Nice right!!! My hand was covered in it!!

So here’s a couple pics so far-mostly just to show everyone that I was actually working!!

This is the headboard after we finished priming it



Check me out sportin Jon’s greazy old sweatshirt. Now if that’s not hot I don’t know what is!!!



See how I was actually working and getting my hands dirty!?!?! Crazy talk!!!



And here’s Jon-probably re-painting something I messed up! He was a little put off with the picture taking but he wants to be on my blog so I don’t know why he’s frontin!!

Phone F-I-ASCO!!!!

Ok check it-I got a new phone the other day. I was very excited as I had had my current phone for 2 years and that’s ancient when we’re talking about electronics!!! I get the new phone and all is well and then the next day it just stops working! I couldn’t send or receive calls and txt messages. What the crap!? So I called tech support and they try resetting everything and it starts working again and then a few minutes later it’s not working anymore. Tech support can’t figure it out so they tell me to take it back to the store I got it from and have them swap it out for a new one. So I drive ALL the way across town and of course the store is closed! So I have no phone! No one can call me and I can’t call anyone else! So I head over to the other Verizon store and they’re still open (why both stores don’t have the same hours is beyond me!!). So this kid is trying to help me and he gets on with tech support and they do all the same resetting stuff and it comes back on and dials out and he thinks he’s fixed it. Ok kid I already said it’ll come back on and then go back down-what aren’t you getting about that?!!? Sure enough it craps out again. So he decides he’s just going to swap it out for a new one but of course he needs the box my other one came in and all that crap so I have to go ALL the way back to my house and ALL the way back to the store. He swaps out the phones and transfers all my #s and would you believe the new phone was doing the exact same thing!!! I could not believe!! So we’re on with tech support AGAIN and they are a bunch of retards!!! I thought this kid in the store was gonna reach thru the phone and strangle the tech support girl!!! if I hear you guys say “oh that’s weird” once more I swear!!! He says to me “I hope you didn’t have plans tonight.” To which I respond “well I wouldn’t know since I can’t use my damn phone!!” I was in that stupid store for an hour and a ½!!! Finally the phone starts working and we wait a bit to make sure it’s still working before I leave. We made several calls and such and everything appears to be ok so I head out. Just in case he tells me that if it craps out again I can call tech support and have them transfer me back to my old phone and use that for the night. So I head home and of course by the time I get home the phone stops working AGAIN!! So I grab my old phone and the new one and of course I now have to use someone else’s phone to call tech support AGAIN!! Of course Tamara’s not home and of course my BFF neighbors aren’t home so I knock on the next door neighbors door and ask to use their phone and the guy looks at me like I’m high AS I’M STANDING THERE HOLDING 2 PHONES IN MY HAND!!!! This guy has Verizon too so it was wanting his phone info and password and crap so that wasn’t working. Just then my BFF neighbors roll up so I go to their house and use their phone and I’m on the phone with Verizon for like a ½ hour!! They transfer me back to my other phone and the guy says that he’s putting all this in the notes on my account so when I go to the store they can situate me blah blah blah and I say to him “are you also putting in your notes that you’re giving me something free for all my troubles???” so he knocks some money off my bill and gives me a bunch of extra minutes and txts-all in all about $40 worth. Nice!!! So I was back to my old phone. So now I have to take my 2nd new phone back to the store today and get it situated. I just want my new phone!! Why must everything be so hard!?!?! Good grief!!

BJ's Bayou

Last Thursday me & my posse ventured to BJ’s Bayou to get our grub on!! BJ’s is a Cajun food place out in the middle of no where and allegedly the place is supposed to be haunted! Yikes!! It was built like 100 years ago and was originally a hotel so who knows what kind of crazy stuff was going on!! As soon as we drove up I was like “Yeah this place is creepy!!”

Tell me this place doesn't look haunted!! Ok from this picture it really doesn't but trust me in real life it's creepy!!




I was determined to be adventurous with my food selection and decided that I was going to order the weirdest thing on the menu! After some careful deliberation I went with the crawfish and alligator tails! Sounds delicious right?! While we were waiting for our food our waitress (who is also the owner) told us all the stories about all the ghosts that supposedly haunt the place. It was quite the array of ghosts!! In one particular corner upstairs there was a fire that broke out and killed 4 people who were staying at the hotel (when the place was a hotel). I was, of course, totally creeped out as I am afraid of everything!!! After she finished her little tale me, Kaydi, and Lisa ventured upstairs to look around. I wandered over to the corner where the fire had been and as soon as I got over there I could feel that something wasn’t right!! Then I got really cold and my teeth started chattering! Could it have been that she had gotten us all worked up with her ghosts stories and I was just scaring myself? Quite possibly but I was taking no chances and decided I was going back downstairs! What a whimp!!!

Here’s me eating my alligator tails!!! Delicious!!!!!




And here’s the whole posse!! We are good times!!

Your favorite topic....ME!!!!

Most people know that my 2 great loves are my TV shows and anything having to do with Hollywood (i.e. movies, my Hollywood Husbands, and most importantly the Oscars!!!!) Right now I’m really into Prison Break. Mmmmm Wentworth Miller……..



Me and my roommate Tamara just watched the first 2 seasons and I’m not ashamed to tell you that we got them watched in a week and a ½!!! We were watching it around the clock! Unfortunately for us season 3 isn’t out on the DVD yet so we have no other choice but to hunker down in front of Tamara’s computer and watch it online. Hey ya do what ya gotta do right?! It’s about to be Season Finale time which normally is among the most exciting times of the year for me (after Oscar night, my birthday, and Season Premiere week!!) however the recent Writer’s Strike really took its toll on me and I haven’t been the same since! I’ve dropped several of my shows. Can you believe?!?!

On to Hollywood!!!! You may or may not know that my one true Hollywood love is Val Kilmer and has been since I can remember! Yes I realize that he’s getting a little chubby lately and that he hasn’t made a decent movie in who knows how long but I love him and true love lasts a lifetime!!!



Some things to know about me:

My favorite band is Lifehouse and if you didn’t already know this you must be joking!! I love Lifehouse with all my heart and soul!! Lifehouse is the soundtrack of my life!!! I can pretty much put a Lifehouse song to every person and situation in my life!



This one time me and my sister Kristy went to a Lifehouse concert in Sacramento and even we were in the front row!!!! We had a fabulous picture taken right in front of the stage but SOMEONE (John Turner) lost it!! not to worry cuz this other time I was at a Lifehouse concert I was like 5 feet from Jason Wade!! I could almost reach out and touch him!!

ahhh this guy...





My biggest dream in life is to dance with John Travolta!!! It's been my dream since before I can remember. I need everyone to start writing letters to Oprah since he is her best white friend!!!


I have a flobbity jillion siblings!!! I am the 2nd oldest of 11 children and it is madness I tell you MADNESS!!! I have more hilarious stories about my family than anyone you’ll ever meet!!! One of my faves right now is the time when my youngest brother Andrew (who had been watching a little too much of that show Man vs Wild) decided he was just too hot and too dehydrated to make it home so (as seen on TV) he busted out his survival skillz and took off his t-shirt, peed on it and wrapped it around his head so that he wouldn’t overheat on the long trek back to the house-which was all of 10 feet away!!! oh those children!!!



I LOVE CAKE!!! I will do anything for a good piece of cake!!! And don’t ask me why but I prefer my cake to be chilled. Weird right?! A couple of years ago I discovered Sprinkles Cupcakes with my friend Johnny and my life has never been the same!!! Sprinkles Cupcakes are just about the greatest thing I’ve ever eaten. So check it: me and Johnny are in LA-apparently we were too busy with all the magic of Disneyland to eat breakfast or lunch that day so Sprinkles was our 1st meal of the day. We waited in line for like 2 hours for these cupcakes-we’re tired and wretched hungry. We get back in the car and open our little boxes and start eating our 1st cupcake (mine was red velvet which is now my all time favorite kind to get!). There was dead silence in the car! Those cupcakes are so unbelievably fantastic there were just no words!!! I’ve been in love with Sprinkles Cupcakes ever since!!!



Ok that’s enough about me for now!! Enjoy!!